Facebook

What to do. I thought it went from a set of giant lapses to a full blown relapse from something I saw on Facebook, though now I realize I probably already relapsed and Facebook just made it worse. It’s so toxic for me. So is instagram. I still have my instagram but I definitely shouldn’t. Social media is definitely, literally trying to kill me. I have deleted my Facebook multiple times and this time has been the longest. I saw something. Something that made me sleep for almost 2 days straight, except I had to go to a very fun restaurant in the worst mood I have ever been in. It would have literally been so incredibly fun. I’ve never heard of a restaurant like the one we went to, but I ended up sitting there just wanting to put my head down and be depressed. That was the day it got much worse this time around. People trigger me. This time it was because of something good. Something someone should have done. They did nothing wrong, but it reminded me of some horrible things that happened before. But I want it back. I want my Facebook back because of the reasons people love it. Everyone is there. I keep in touch with people. But every time I get tempted I think of everything that has happened on there to trigger me. Not just the most recent thing, but EVERYTHING. That hasn’t been the worst trigger in a long shot, so many things have triggered me, even the most innocent. But I feel so disconnected, like people are forgetting me. Like the only way to know if people still care is by “likes” and if I’m not on Facebook then I’m getting zero likes and thus “everything sucks.”What are your thoughts on eating disorders are Facebook or other social media? Is it worth me getting back on to feel more connected even if it leads to triggers?

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4 thoughts on “Facebook

  1. Oh, the joys of Facebook! I HATE THAT PLACE!!! I was on it for maybe four or five years. I found it to be nothing more than a popularity contest. Look what I did! I have this, I have that. Ugh!!! Even though most of my f/b friends were people I knew here in the real world, I was appalled at their online behaviour and attitudes. Not to mention the fact that it seemed to be an “all about me club”.

    I like the original social networking. Knock on your friend’s door and visit with her. You are sure to get more “likes” than not with that one.

    I am sorry it is such a bad and triggering experience for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have a love hate relationship with it XD people my age are also starting to get married and have babies and that’s kind of triggering too. I kind of miss the other original social networking where everyone goes their separate ways and don’t hear from most people from high school so we can hide our not fairy tale lives from everyone XD then the high school reunion’s come!

    Liked by 1 person

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