You do NOT have to be supportive to others who relapse

This is a huge issue for me. I didn’t think I would do well in outpatient. I thought I would go right back to the eating disorder as soon as I got there. Until this incident happened at a movie theater I think I talked about a while ago on this blog. But I was not recovered because I had the thoughts. I was weight restored but my thoughts were still there. A friend of mine relapsed and I was able to be supportive through the beginning. Triggering talk got worse and worse and it was starting to affect me really badly. But what could I do? Say I couldn’t talk to her until she got better? Well of course i could! Of course i should! This is the main cause of all my struggles now. If it is going to affect you, you are not a bad friend for stepping away for a little while, if anything, maybe it would inspire them to show how willing you are for the rest of your recovery. I thought I would be a bad friend if I told her how I felt, but now I realize she was the bad friend. Once the triggering talk started was when I should have realized that if she considered me a bad friend for stopping the friendship for awhile then the friendship should end there. It felt like I was being triggered on purpose. Like this person was trying to upset me because these kinds of things, again, are not good things to be said to people with eating disorders and I knew she knew better than to say these things. It felt like she was trying to tear me apart by the end of the friendship. Because I was supportive to her, it drove me own a dark path and instead of a pause in the friendship by telling her I needed space, it ended because I relapsed. It ended with something I had wanted so badly. she told me she didn’t want me to see her until she got better because she thought it would trigger me. I thought that was so sweet of her and I was so happy. Then, the very next day I got pictures from her, and pictures all over Facebook of the very thing she said we shouldn’t see each other for. I could not breathe over the betrayal. And now, because I was worried about being a bad friend, I relapsed and the friendship is completely gone, and it wasn’t because I was a bad friend. Moral of the story: If a friendship is affecting your recovery, you need to let it go. If it’s a good friend, let it go for just a little while or you can even keep the friendship the whole time but kindly let them know anything and everything that is bothering you. But if this person is toxic and doesn’t seem to care about your recovery, it should have never started in the first place…

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