apology from the eating disorder

Dear anyone suffering from me, (ed)

I am sorry for putting those horrible words and thoughts into your head. I was formed by society and what started as an insecurity started to turn evil and eventually I tried to kill you. I am sorry I have almost cost you your life multiple times. I thought I was trying to help, but now that I have seen you smile in recovery, I realize that controlling your life with food isn’t the way to get to all the things that make you smile when you tell me to shut up. I don’t blame you for telling me to shut up. I don’t blame you for hating me. You have every right to hate me. I am just a stupid, pathetic eating disorder. The only thing that needs to feel ashamed and insecure is me, the eating disorder. And remember, you are not me, you are not the eating disorder, therefore you do not need to feel ashamed along with me. I told you lies and you can only listen to them so much before you start to believe them. It’s natural to listen to things over and over that so many people are saying then start to believe them. I doesn’t make you crazy. I am the crazy one for trying to get innocent people to hurt themselves. Society is the crazy one. We are one in the same, society and me. I am going to leave you alone now. I know how relieved you will be without me. You will never have to worry about calories, you won’t have to hide, you won’t have to lie. I know how awful it feels to lie, I am the biggest liar of them all, and I have caused you to lie. Don’t feel bad about your lies, I am an awful entity, and I told you, you had no choice but to lie. No one blames you. I know you can never forgive me, but I want you to know that I am sorry. I will leave you alone forever. I’m going to go now, I’m going to go work on my attitude.

sincerely,

The eating disorders

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5 thoughts on “apology from the eating disorder

  1. Very well written! I think we all want to hear such a letter of apology from our eating disorder. I never wrote one. I think it may be because I always cussed him out in therapy all the time…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my god.. I am usually the worst at sympathizing with inspirational readings/taking them seriously, in other words feelsy topics dont usually “hit” me but this was incredibly comforting and really spoke to me. Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

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