Recovery goals!!!!!

“this morning Jack found a rainbow on the wall. I honestly couldn’t figure out where it was coming from which according to science means ti’s some sort of portal. You ever see Stargate? Exactly. We were careful not to get too close. I snapped this photo and it dawned on me how much Jack looks like Anna. They are both so beautiful. Sleeping in with the two of them is my greatest treasure.” This is a quote from Chris Pratt. He and Anna Faris have been my biggest relationship goals ever. They love each other so much and I love looking at his instagram and seeing his amazingly sweet comments about her and their son. And then I realized simply how easy that must be for him. How easy it must be for them to have this wonderful life. In every picture I see of them together, or just her in general she is so happy. The thing I really notice is her smiling and waving at paparazzi, even though they are probably annoying, but she is not letting them ruin her day. Exhibit A: anna-faris-ag-jeans-new-2.jpg(picture from denimblog) Seeing someone who I always see in pictures always smiling and being positive has made me feel one way about her, she is the good I can be in recovery. I have been shown how being constantly positive can work in so many ways. I always thought that being positive and giving up anorexia would be just giving up. Like giving up the image I wanted others to have of me so I can be happy. I always knew happiness would be good (obviously) but I always thought I would have a hole inside of me without anorexia. But now I know that I can take a positive attitude, let it make me happy, while also using that as an amazing image for others to have of me. I don’t have to be sick all the time. If all my “friends” are trying to trigger me into the eating disorder more and more, it doesn’t have to be, “Ill be nothing if I don’t have this,” it is, “I can be this instead and it’s so much better!” And I have finally found something that I can control. I used to want to control my life by the eating disorder, but looking at Chris Pratt’s instagram and remembering their beautiful life over the years has made me believe just now that positivity is a great thing to control. I can get triggered and triggered but if I decided to smile through it like Anna Faris does, everything will be amazing. That is a great way to take the high road, a beautiful, perfection, amazing way to take the high road. And while sometimes I think that I can still restrict and smile through it giving me the same affect, I must now start to believe that you can’t be sick and not be sick at the same time.   rs_600x600-141127192502-600-anna-faris-chris-pratt.ls.112714_copy.jpg(Picture from eonline) I just added this picture because I think it is the epitome of how amazing positivity can look from the outside as well as the inside.

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