Finding the beauty in everything probs

Oh lord, hello beautiful everything. It starts like this for me, “I hate that about myself,” “Lets find something amazing and beautiful about it to love,” “Cool!” “Wait, now I have the opposite problem” “That’s still amazing too” “Crap.” “What do I do!?!?!?”  This is basically me as a child and hating the fact that I wasn’t magically born with a certain set of skills, such as being strong. (My child and teenage brain thought that you had to be magically born that way and you couldn’t do anything to change it.) Well, I’m still not strong but I finally turned it around in my head to make it into a good thing. Being strong only really meant something when I was younger because I did gymnastics but I was tall and 12 and in the same level as 5 year olds because I wasn’t strong enough to do a thing on the bars. (fyi to illustrate how serious i am about being 12 and them all being five, we used to run around in circles first of all, and I had to run barley lifting my legs because I thought I would kick whoever was behind me in the face). Anyway, still to this day I am kind of ashamed to say that I was 12 and in level 1 and 2. I am able though finally to believe that it really wasn’t my lack of skills in everything, since I could do things in high levels on the floor, I just had the problem with balance and strength.  So when I am ashamed of how low I was on the levels, I think of a way to counter that like, “well it actually is a funny story,” or “people might think it is endearing how much I screw up.” But now that I’m older and have been doing yoga, I can get strong, and can be more balanced again. I now know I can make myself that way instead of being born that way, and then I think of, but wait, I saw that girl in yoga class on television that kept falling and it looked so cute even though it wasn’t perfect. Now which one do I want!? Well, now I’ll find the beauty in this “problem” i have of seeing everything beautiful…the possibilities are now, literally and completely endless!


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