A bordem morsel of an update! 

Today is Sunday at 2:30 am. This is my last day before I go to treatment for 11 hours a day. (Or 6 if I can beg to get that) I went to see my dietician and told her that as soon as I go in, I’m going to ask them about 6 hours and if they say no just let them know that i am so ready for recovery that if they will not let me I’ll just tell them I’m going to discharge myself in a month or so from 11 hours to nothing basically because I have a life which is different from last time. Last year I was going in with every intention of relapsing the moment I left. However my dietician snapped some sense into me and told me that, that is not the best way to go about things and is not a good way, like I thought it was, to let them know how ready for recovery I am. That is perhaps that last way, as I am basically saying that I am not willing to stay for the amount of time I need in order to get well. This is becuase getting well fully means putting your life on hold, not doing a superficial job just to get out sooner. At first, this disconcerted me as I thought finally having a life and dreams means wellness, but that is the beginning of all the wellness. Basically this means to me that I have entered treatment without the beginning of what is required for treatment in the past. No the beginning of treatment is not stepping foot into a center all of the time and beginning to eat. A large portion of the time it must start in your mind. This is something to tell people who don’t understand that eating disorders are mental llnesses. The disease begins in your mind, therefore the recovery must originate from there as well. 

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