Epiphany

This picture makes me never want to scream. Whether in anger at myself or someone else. When I first saw it, I liked it, but then I realized it doesn’t depict the beauty in everyone. This year, I have learned about opposite to emotion and it has helped immensely. Opposite to emotion is when you have a urge brought on by a negative emotion such as feeling lonely, so isolating. Practicing opposite to emotion is knowing you would like to isolate then making plans instead. This has helped with self compassion. When you don’t like yourself, and have an urge to change yourself, be yourself instead and then find something you love about every inch of you. Then, when you are envious of someone, you want to find the bad in them, it helps to find the beauty in them instead even if you already see it to the point of it feeling overbearing. Find more beauty in them. This guides you to forcing finding the beauty in yourself because you can start with how beautiful you are on the inside because you are envious of someone, but you still have the enormity of your own heart. I do know however, this is a hard concept. It just helps me be able to do something lovely rather than dwelling on things I cannot change. Anytime you have to tell someone something about yourself, always say it like you are proud. This picture also led me to thinking about who I really am again. I remember what I’ve wanted before the eating disorder entered when I was a teenager. Being quiet went to wanting to be loud. Being careless led to wanting to be beautiful. The eating disorder put my personality into a whirlpool. And I remember it again. I wanted to be smart but now I know you don’t have to be born that way. I can learn whatever it is that I desire. 

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