Twice this year, I got laughed at. Once was recently and once was a few months ago and I blogged about that experience. I tend to make sure I’m in the background sometimes in order to be sure I’m not made fun of. Luckily, this was a year in which my mental health has been a lot better. I am able to find the beauty in myself for not laughing at others instead of finding the flaws in myself for when others laugh at me. I was at work a few days ago and a boy and his girlfriend came in. They sat in the front for a few minutes then went through the back to exit. (They were friends of my co-worker) I said I was sorry because I was in someone’s way and I stepped back. The girl laughed at me. I understand that this might have been a laughter with me type of thing or it may have been laughter at my expense. Maybe she was just laughing because I said sorry and it was obvious I didn’t need to. I backed up in kind of a strange way to let them through, so either she thought I was joking and laughed with me, or she was laughing at me. The reason why I think it was at my expense was because the laughter lingered, and not a loud laughter that was being thrown forth because of something extremely funny, but more of a, “You’re strange,” laughter. I could be very wrong on this, I must admit, but this is how I feel in this situation. For a little while, this lingering laughter made me believe that it was from something I am extremely insecure about (something I haven’t talked about yet.) I felt her laughter made everything true. Luckily, I am doing better and this didn’t last as long as it normally would. The reason why this laughter made me feel it was all true was because a “normal” person doing what I did would not be the cause for a lingering malicious laughter. While I did have thoughts of insecurity, I also saw something I normally do not see. When we get laughed at, sometimes we miss the persons character and go straight to self loathing. This time I was able to notice this girl and see something I don’t want be, instead of only seeing the things that she laughed at. Instead of only seeing myself reflected from this situation, I saw someone else too. I was able to see that just because these people laughed at me, doesn’t make them better. That was always my logic. I did something strange and they are not strange like me so they wouldn’t laugh at their own expense as well as my own. I can see looking down then looking back up with a bright red face as much more endearing than a prideful smile at how these people can laugh at someone. It’s much more beautiful to be strong and handle these moments, than to be the one who is making fun of others. Now, none of us are perfect. And if we have made a mistake and laughed or was mean to someone before, this doesn’t mean we are horrible people. It means you have some insecurity problems of your own. Think of this idea and then make sure you don’t make someone feel bad about themselves again. We all have hurt someone in our lives, but we can change it and we can be better. We just have to look at how being mean can take away the beauty of the outside. I don’t like speaking of beauty on the outside, but what I mean is that, having a beautiful soul can make you glow with warmth. That’s what you get when you are kind to someone.