2016-2017

2016-2017
Now I’m not big on “what happened this year,” or “New years resolutions,” but I feel these two years can be exceptions. I feel that I found the journey to loving myself in 2016. Now I’m not completely at loving myself, but I found the path to get to that dream. I started a job that made me love the vision of being strong, which is the sole purpose of my recovery for myself. Finding the beauty in everything has shown me that recovery for myself is possible. I did struggle with my eating disorder but I was able to overcome it more than ever. I was able to grasp onto a different type of control and a different type of person I wish to be, which is a strong version of myself. I was able to push myself with my job and feel better about myself. I was able to face fears and for the first time, embrace fear as it is part of the path I found to loving myself. Now I have a new years resolution that has come from a big part of 2016. I wrote Nanowrimo for the first time and I made it. I was able to get myself to write 50000 words in a month, and it showed me that I am able to do anything if I set my mind to it. This made a determination and a new piece of a personality flow into me. Feeling the desire to keep going with those 50000 words, and feeling it genuinely showed me that I do have the power to be a person who doesn’t give up. It doesn’t have to be fake. So this resolution was to write another novel. Then I realized how perfectionist I am. I used to write all the time and then I quit. Nanowrimo gave it back to me. I never finished the things I wrote unless they were songs. But I always think my songs and stories are not good enough so I delete every word. This year, I vow to try to write two novels. One of them being one I am proud of through every word and moment when it flows from my mind onto paper. (or screen in this case). The other novel is one that I don’t want to write. I will dedicate 50000 words from my mind to this novel that my head tells me isn’t good enough. When my hand moves to the backspace button, I will push on. Like climbing up a steep mountain, these words, I vow, will stay on the page. I have my idea ready and hopefully this year, this rebeilous act against my demons will push them away into oblivion. I’m feeling kind of wary about this post as it doesn’t really seem to be anything that would help anyone, it’s more of a story but I guess it’s worth it to post it anyway. Happy new year!

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8 thoughts on “2016-2017

      1. I never heard of it. I used to be so into writing but fell out of it. I do not know why. I was writing a story about a girl with an eating disorder. Maybe I will finish it someday. Keep writing! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s where you write 1667 words a day every day in November and at the end you reach 50000 which is the minimum for a novel! I used to write all the time as well but perfectionism ruined it for me. Nanowrimo helped bring it back! You should try to write again if it made you happy!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe you should try this resolution too! Dedicate a large amount of time to something you don’t think is good enough and fight your bad thoughts! I’ve already started my writing and while I’m having some trouble with my thoughts, I’m happier at least doing it 🙂 happy new year!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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