Channeling depression

I have fallen down to a wave of depression recently. I must remember though, that depression comes in waves and it doesn’t last forever. To me, depression looks like not being able to feel joy in anything. What is especially upsetting is my hobbies that do not interest me anymore. Throughout my life, my hobbies have been so much to me and when depression started getting bad, I decided not to give up on them. This may sound like a good thing, but it leads me to not being able to do things that I need to do. When I am depressed I spend all of my time doing something I used to love, over and over until I feel joy in it again. This is also from anxiety. I get so anxious that the depression will last forever, that I spend time on my hobbies just to see if I feel anything again. If I don’t, I just keep trying. However, I need to do other things beside this. I need to do laundry, I need to study, I need to go out with friends, not only obsess about enjoying things in the way that I do. Going out with friends and being productive always helps but I never feel I have the motivation when I feel this way. Also, spending time “having fun,” isn’t really all that fun, when fun is just an experiment to see if depression this time will last forever. So I have decided to channel my depression and use it to make me feel good about myself. I am going to stop obsessing over this, and start doing the things I need to do. When I feel this way I want to stay inside and not speak to anyone until I feel joy again, but now I am going to suck it up and go out. I vow to do everything I need to do, and more. This will help me feel stronger. I will be able to tell myself that I can feel so depressed but I am strong enough to get through it and thrive on it. I think I will thrive because it is motivation now, my depression. Everything will feel like climbing up a mountain and this makes it more motivating. I also love this idea because it will make me feel respected as an adult. I used to hate the idea of being an adult. It seemed so boring. But now, being an adult means respect. For this wave of depression I am going to make a list of things I need to do during the times when I would rather not. I am going to continue my longer walks with my dog. I will continue trying my hardest to lucid dream (which I have been trying for awhile but haven’t succeeded and have almost given up). I am going to give my all to school and studies, and I will continue writing and doing yoga every day. My hope is that I will feel empowered and happy just by defying the depression and I will feel respected and strong. Maybe that is the cure for me.

Ps. I can’t believe I forgot the most important part! I’m using this depression as a way of telling me I have more potential. If I stop obsessing on things that I’m never going to pursue, then I need to do other things that will unlock my true potential! Think of your depression like that! It’s getting you to not enjoy old things, in order to try the new!

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80 thoughts on “Channeling depression

  1. I like and respect your attitude toward taking control over it. It will lift in due time. I have my times as well. Sometimes a day or two and sometimes longer. What usually helps me is watching a goofy “B” movie with my brother to just get my mind off of whatever.

    Do you think it just might be because of the holiday season?

    Lifting you up in prayer. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. A open letter to my depression 

    Welcome. Again. I thought those happy pills my therapist gave me finally made you leave but of course you’re stubborn and you didn’t. I didn’t feel like moving today , it was one of those days where I plastered a fake smile on my face trying to ignore the cracking of my soul inside , I didn’t feel like breathing. I thought it would be that day where I would finally give up but no, you ,dear depression, you made me live still and die simultaneously. Little by little  I cut off my ties with the rest of the world and tried to leave my brain chemicals to do what it does best : fill me with recurrent thoughts of self harm. I am tired and fatigued with the constant repetitive thoughts and the sadness hanging over me like a cloud and the feelings of worthlessness. Exhausted with not being understood. You make me feel like I’m drowning on land when people around me are breathing. 

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am struggling really bad with depression right now. I have never dealt with it before. Your post has given me hope, especially when you said it comes in waves. I’m hoping I get out of this funk soon. I have always dealt with severe anxiety. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi,
    May I offer the answer that will help you?
    The Lord Jesus Christ came that we may have life. Not “religion,” that isn’t the answer.
    But by merely believing on the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour. Believe that His death, burial, and resurrection accomplished your forgiveness and justification. And you WILL have new life.

    God loves you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Depression is all about finding a way to fight back. Sounds like you’re doing just that. Good luck, I’m sure you’ll find you are stronger than you thought !

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Really encouraging. We’re often much stronger and able to overcome dark times. The dark times really don’t last, but sometimes we have to take steps to get into the light. It sounds like you have a good understanding of your own depression, that’s the best start. Keep battling.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s cool, I’m visiting a friend from Uni this summer-my first trip to the States!
        I’m actually really glad people are starting to talk more about their depression, there’s a great charity here-“Time to Talk, Time to Change.” You’re so right, much easier to be positive when you know you aren’t alone facing depression.

        Like

      1. On the home page of Learning from Dogs is a link: Get Involved. That’s a quick and easy way to get you going. Are you aware of how having a dog in our lives produces oxytocin in both our brain and the brain of our dog? If not, I will include that in my introduction to your guest post. Look forward to reading it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. If you can put a quiet hour to one side then do watch the BBC Horizon programme The Secret Life of the Dog. There’s a clip and a link to the programme now on Top Documentary Films here: https://learningfromdogs.com/2017/02/09/history-dogs-humans/

        It is the most incredible story of us and dogs and includes the research undertaken by Prof. Kerstin Uvnas-Moberg of the Karolinska Institute in Sweden. Professor K. goes into the health benefits for both us and dogs that flows from the relationship.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I really loved this particular post; I like the balance between optimism and talking honestly about your feelings. It was such a refreshing read 🙂
    We’d love to have you contribute to our site, https://wemustbebroken.com/
    We focus on mental health advocacy through creative work (poetry, song lyrics, photography, art, stories, etc.) Feel free to send us an email with any questions or submissions at wemustbebroken@gmail.com
    Keep writing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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