I am back from my experiment of fighting depression

And it was just lovely. I stopped sulking and dwelling and I started being strong and doing what I need to do and more since this recent wave of depression hit me. I have decided to make an adventure book (like the one from up). I have already made one but it’s not too sturdy so I want another one. I am going to put my bucket list in for in case I am depressed and can’t think of something new to try to feel strong. The bucket list part is for following my dreams. My dreams though, when related to depression, are the epitome of the journey and not the destination. When I am depressed, I plan to get out of bed when I do not want to do even anything, and then I will do anything I can to chase my dreams. How strong I will feel when I do this. Chasing your dreams seems so much more empowering when you feel you have nothing left, not even the joy of reaching your dreams. Well, I’ll still try. People always say the journey is more important than the destination. A hard journey when you’re depressed seems like the journey would then be 10 times more important. I am also going to put in things that can go on a to-do list for when I am depressed. These things will just be guidelines for future to-do lists. These include finding at least one event to go to in public, visit with a friend, do laundry, clean, take the dog on an extra walk, write, etc. There was even something I did today. My dietician told me I need to make an appointment with my psychiatrist and I’ve been so busy that thinking about it kind of stresses me out. Normally, I would just say I would do it, then hope everyone forgot. That was the first thing that popped into my head when she told me to make this appointment. “I’ll say sure then we’ll both forget, right?” But then I called the office. (They were closed so I’m calling tomorrow). Just that made me smile. How underrated strength is to your own happiness. This should be shouted to the heavens that strength has the power to make you love yourself even for a moment. The thing about the cure for this wave of depression for me was all about the view I have of strength. Now, I have wanted to be strong for a long time, but this is the first time I have applied strength to when I am depressed. I have thought I cured my own depression before, and sadly I did not. This new ‘cure’ might not be permanent, but now that I want so badly to be strong, being strong during the depression has actually made me happy. Strength is a universal good thing. (Yes I know I’m not supposed to use the word good and bad anymore but I feel this is an exception.) Being strong is motivating to others and it helps you be more happy. This is good. So when I know how bad I just want to sulk I’ll think of my quote I have that always puts an ever better light on strength for me. A quote that always puts a vision in my head of how I will be when I am strong.  The quote at the top of my page. “She decided to free herself, dance into the wind, create a new language. And birds fluttered around her writing ‘yes’ in the sky.” When I want to give up, I will picture myself forcing myself to do things that always in the end make me happy no matter how depressed I feel. Then once I feel the happiness that I had to ‘climb a mountain’ to get, that’s when I’ll be able to imagine birds fluttering around me, writing ‘yes’ in the sky. All I need is a genuine smile and glowing eyes that came from the core of depression and numbness. That grew from there out of strength and it will be easy to picture in my head, these birds flying around me like I am free. I challenge any who read this to find a quote or picture that represents an amazing view of strength to you. Then when you feel like giving up, remember how amazing it will be when you are one with this quote or essence of strength that you so love.

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6 thoughts on “I am back from my experiment of fighting depression

  1. I love this. Mine is “No one is you, and that is your power.” It just reminds me that I’m unique and all the things that make me different make me stronger. The sadness exists only to make the joy sweeter.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ~~ “I challenge any who read this to find a quote or picture that represents an amazing view of strength to you. Then when you feel like giving up, remember how amazing it will be when you are one with this quote or essence of strength that you so love.” ~~

    Cool idea! I always picture Jesus in my mind when I need strength, love, understanding, and so on.

    Thank you for sharing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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