I used to face my fears a lot as a child but not because I wanted to nor did I do it joyfully. I was afraid to tell someone that I didn’t want to do it, so I went ahead and did it. My fear of telling people no was an avoidance in itself obviously. I used to play in volleyball games when I was too nervous to. I used to give presentations when I would have rather done anything else. We all hear that facing our fears makes everything easier right? Well, that’s not what happened in my case, when I was insecure. When I finished facing my other fears, such as being the center of attention in the volleyball games or doing presentations anyway, the fear made me feel worse. I never thought of the fact that it was amazing for me to be facing this fear. Even if I am afraid to tell someone my fear, either way I am facing something. When I was done facing my fear, I only felt empowered if I didn’t feel fear during it. If I felt horrible during it, like the time I almost vomited during a presentation at school, I felt weak, because I felt weak. I didn’t feel strong because I got through it. Now I realize that even if I get through something and still shake through it and feel fear throughout the whole thing, that makes me even stronger. The fear stayed with me, because of my negative attitude. “I did horrible. I never want to do that again. I’ll always be afraid.” Now my attitude is, “I am strong for fighting through my fear. Lets try again next time.” I have shown you in my last post about the beauty I see in confidence. I faced my fears as a child but I never looked like that girl in the picture of my last post. The girl who is getting her hair cut and looking up with her eyes closed with confidence and ferocity. I faced my fear then got up with negativity filling my mind and walked off insecure…off to being scared in the future of the same exact thing. A lack of fear was the only road to confidence for me. But that mindset made me scared. I hated fear…so I had a lot of it. Now I’m okay with fear, and while I still have it, I am a lot happier. So face your fears, and let yourself shake or let yourself be steady, but when you are done, make eye contact with others, and walk off like you have just conquered the world.
The moral of this story that I needed to hear: Fear, failure…none of that matters. All that matters in life is that you try.