Difference between being brave and confident, and being brave and insecure

I used to face my fears a lot as a child but not because I wanted to nor did I do it joyfully. I was afraid to tell someone that I didn’t want to do it, so I went ahead and did it. My fear of telling people no was an avoidance in itself obviously. I used to play in volleyball games when I was too nervous to. I used to give presentations when I would have rather done anything else. We all hear that facing our fears makes everything easier right? Well, that’s not what happened in my case, when I was insecure. When I finished facing my other fears, such as being the center of attention in the volleyball games or doing presentations anyway, the fear made me feel worse. I never thought of the fact that it was amazing for me to be facing this fear. Even if I am afraid to tell someone my fear, either way I am facing something. When I was done facing my fear, I only felt empowered if I didn’t feel fear during it. If I felt horrible during it, like the time I almost vomited during a presentation at school, I felt weak, because I felt weak. I didn’t feel strong because I got through it. Now I realize that even if I get through something and still shake through it and feel fear throughout the whole thing, that makes me even stronger. The fear stayed with me, because of my negative attitude. “I did horrible. I never want to do that again. I’ll always be afraid.” Now my attitude is, “I am strong for fighting through my fear. Lets try again next time.” I have shown you in my last post about the beauty I see in confidence. I faced my fears as a child but I never looked like that girl in the picture of my last post. The girl who is getting her hair cut and looking up with her eyes closed with confidence and ferocity. I faced my fear then got up with negativity filling my mind and walked off insecure…off to being scared in the future of the same exact thing. A lack of fear was the only road to confidence for me. But that mindset made me scared. I hated fear…so I had a lot of it. Now I’m okay with fear, and while I still have it, I am a lot happier. So face your fears, and let yourself shake or let yourself be steady, but when you are done, make eye contact with others, and walk off like you have just conquered the world.

The moral of this story that I needed to hear: Fear, failure…none of that matters. All that matters in life is that you try.


7 thoughts on “Difference between being brave and confident, and being brave and insecure

  1. I love this. For the longest time I was so convinced that the phrase “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” was completely untrue. I was much the same way with presentations in school, and afterwards I would still be shaky and my thoughts a mess. Your mindset coming out of the situation that makes you afraid is just as important as the actual situation, most of the time. Walking away from something saying “I did horribly” will convince your mind that the negative thoughts won, and when that type of situation comes around again, your mind remembers what happened the last time. If we take your approach to it (“let’s try again next time”), you’re giving the opportunity to get stronger. Thanks for this post!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. i agree with what you’re saying about that quote. i thought doing presentations in class made me so weak but i think the quote needs to be changed a little. ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger if you have a positive attitude.’ each presentation i did made me more terrified for the next because of my negative attitude, but now i can get through so much. thank you for the response. i would put an exclamation point at the end of that but my shift bar isn’t working for some reason

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post! I was (and still am, in a way) very much like you. Being afraid of failure and of letting others see your “weakness” makes us do everything we can to seem strong in other people’s eyes. And that can be so exhausting… Like you say, attitude certainly is the key. And I think as we grow older, we will get some more perspective and start to see the possibility of turning fear into real strength ! Thank you for sharing your story!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A great moral to this story. I’ve been enjoying your blog and deep reflection on life.

    I’ve been hearing a lot lately about how it’s not success that determines who you are or what matters in life but it’s failure. It’s our failures (a result of our trying) that guides the way to happiness.

    I don’t know what your faith is, but I’ve found that prayer helps me try things I never would have considered trying normally.

    Liked by 1 person

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