My annoying brain has convinced me I was both shy and outgoing and different times in my life. The problem with this is that my brain convinced me I was something just after it convinced me that the opposite was the worthy one. I told myself I was shy when my head told me it was worthy to be outgoing. Then once my brain told me I was only worthy if I was shy, suddenly I believed myself to be outgoing. So what I am left with is the memories of the beliefs I’ve had of the worthiness of both of these things that you can be. So I will channel my annoying brain and share how to love yourself with whichever you are.
Shy- Introverted and liking to be alone can have it serious perks. You can love yourself if you love being by yourself because of how you dream. I find that a lot of introverts like myself are dreamers. I like to stay in my imagination and it makes things so much more magical. It makes the way I walk and carry myself hold a different nature from the rest because of what my mind is on in the moment. Maybe I am bouncing a little more as I walk because of something I am dreaming of. I found all this beauty from when I spoke and my brain told me I should stay silent because only that is beautiful.
Soul mate to loving myself: (This is a phrase I use for seeing myself in someone else that makes me love myself-because it’s easier to love others than yourself) Emma Watson-She has spoken about how she feels different because she doesn’t want to go out and do certain things with her friends. I have felt that way as well and I never knew she felt that way. I look up to her so much already that when I found out she is also an introvert, it made me okay with it even more.
Outgoing- Then there was the time I felt bad about myself for not being outgoing because I thought that outgoing was the worthy one. And this is why I thought outgoing was worthy. A long time ago my friends went to do something fun and exciting that I would probably have been too afraid to do. I beat myself up about it because I found the beauty in doing something exciting rather than staying indoors by myself. I found this beautiful this time because of the excitement and the energy of adventure with other people. Being outgoing is the key to being an angel. I may be kind when I am shy, but when we are confident, outgoing and kind is when we can go up to strangers and welcome them and be kind and loving to them just like an angel. I found all this beauty when I was silent and my brain told it was only beautiful if I would shout. Silly brain didn’t think these thoughts could backfire, but I found in my pain hidden things that canceled out all of the negative thoughts out. Hidden inside my scars was the evidence of beauty in everything and I was able to channel it.
Soul mate to loving myself: Andy Samberg- He is extroverted and thinking of him when I was being extroverted and funny is a great way for me to not feel ashamed when my brain tells me introversion is the beautiful one. Serena Williams- Her intensity mixed with extroversion makes me love myself in my extroverted times.
Moral of this story is that neither one or the other is more worthy than the other. You and everyone else can love you for whatever you are. You need to accept yourself and never change. But also, we can all be both. We don’t need to label ourselves. I consider myself an introvert but there are times in my life when I’ve been an extrovert. I’m sure most people have felt both at certain times in their lives.