Beauty in my major

When I was getting ready to go to college I was depressed and didn’t care at all about my future. Now I am so excited for my future that I got depressed about having a major I don’t like, but have channeled my excitement and turned my excitement on my major and found the beauty in it. My major is marketing and I always wanted to do things with animals. I wanted to be a marine biologist and I was going to go to college for that but I ended up being so depressed I literally just clicked a major and went on with my life. I knew nothing of marketing. I didn’t care that I wasn’t interested, because I wasn’t interested in anything. So instead of sulking about my major I decided to channel it. Here are the reasons why I found marketing to be a great major. If you have chosen something you regret, you can find a way to love it.

  1. The potential to have a job in a “the office” type setting-Being so close to others and being able to have strange work relationships like from the show the office. (Yes this show is actually possible-I have these kinds of relationships at my current job but I’d like it to stay that way in a new job. Plus, in an office setting I’ll be able to enjoy it more because the job I have now is very physically demanding and it makes me too tired to care as much as I could about how funny my co-workers are)
  2. Being an artist/scientist-I need to be creative to grab people’s attention while finding out what will grab their attention.
  3. Honestly, I see so much beauty in the business type. Dressing in business clothes, being strong and getting things done. The problem for me is that I’m not the business type. I can only pretend to be the business-type but then I’ll feel like a fraud next to these amazing people. If you are a businessman or woman, you can love yourself so much because of how impressive you are. Going to interviews and working your way up and giving presentations is incredibly hard. Yesterday I almost didn’t apply for a job because they said you need to be ok with presentations. That has always been my worst fear. Well, I thought to myself, “If I want to be as amazing as I view actual business people, I need to apply to this job and fight through my fear of presentations.”
  4. I also like the idea of a cute little cubicle.

Talking bad about myself has left me feeling bad about myself

I desperately warn you. Do not speak bad of yourself. Do not write bad of yourself. I just learned this lesson and it may be of some use to my happiness. I have found something in my physical appearance that I like about myself. However, with my history of insecurity, I always have to obsess to make sure that what I like about myself is actually true. I know how bad this is though. I should just accept what I love about myself but sometimes it is difficult. Well, the thing I like about myself now has gone down the drain. I lost it. I lost this piece of love for myself. Why? Because I thought of something horrible I wrote about myself when I was a teenager. I remember writing in detail many things that I hate about myself and I remember telling people how much I hated certain details about myself to see if they felt the same way. Well, now, it has come back to haunt me. The new thing I like about my physical appearance is basically the opposite of something I wrote about hating. I won’t go into details but basically I wrote that I hated some aspect of my physical appearance. I remembered what I wrote even though I haven’t read it in years. This shows that details of hatred for yourself can really stick to you. More so than just thoughts themselves, because this time you have a document of your thoughts. This thing I wrote is opposite of what I like in myself as of recently. So, I had to let that good aspect of myself go. All because I wrote down my feelings of myself onto paper. If you have urges to write your feelings, I urge you to be a little kinder towards yourself, because as I have just realized, once you grow older, your own words can sound like they are coming from another person and to me, this always makes it worse and makes it sound more true. That thing I wrote about myself seems more true the more time goes on because I don’t remember that exact girl as well as I did.  The negative writings can take away an aspect of self-love you have. Maybe the truth is, is that when I was younger my insecurities clouded my judgement and they weren’t real insecurities. There is also the fact that my appearance has changed in the past almost ten years. Yet, it still looms in my head. I wrote that about myself, now it’s stuck in my head, and it’s taken away my self-love of today. Try, if you please, to speak and think more kindly of yourself, because it may come back to haunt you. As I’m sure some of you know, our insecurities can cause us to think things that are not in any way true. So when you grow older, you may look back and believe something horrible and untrue about yourself.