The first one is self as context. This means that you are not truly one thing. You don’t have to mold yourself into what you believe you are or have to be. It makes labels not make sense. Sometimes I am shy, sometimes I am outgoing. I cannot label myself as either one because every moment and every experience calls for something different. (This skill took me awhile to understand, so if I am wrong on this skill, feel free to correct me).
Then I love mindfulness. This one started as boring for me and then turned into something I use almost everyday. This is where you make sure you are aware of your surroundings. This helps immensely with anxiety. You occupy your mind while you tell yourself to look for certain colors around the room. Or you just sit outside looking at nature and make sure you notice and feel every single wonderful thing.
Building mastery. This is when you learn new things in order to gain self-esteem or a sense of accomplishment. This one is obviously self explanatory and if you are learning something new, you are already using this skill. However, this is something you need to keep in mind if you are in a rut and feel you need something to get yourself out.
I talk about changing your perspective all the time in this blog so it’s only appropriate that I share it here. This skill is when you take something you dislike about yourself and then you change it into something positive. This is what I try to do with this blog. Share the wonderfulness that I see in every aspect of all everyone can be. Tall or short? You can love yourself if you are either. It makes sense. Two people who are completely the opposite physically or mentally both have the option to love themselves; both have the capacity to be confident. You cannot look at someone and say with fact, “That person has got to be confident.” Just like you cannot look at someone and also say with fact, “That person has got to be insecure.” There is no universal type of person who is the epitome of confidence. That is saved for someone who is just actually incredibly confident no matter who they are. Every single person on this planet has the power inside of them for self-love. Which means your insecurities are not true. If confidence about some aspect of yourself is not inside of you but is inside of someone else just like you, you can find it too. And every category of person has many people who are confident in that aspect of themselves.
And then there is opposite to emotion. I use this a lot when I cross the street oddly enough. I hate crossing the street at cross walks if there are cars. “What if they wave me on but I can’t see them through the glare in their window and I just stand there awkwardly?” “What if I think they let me go first but then they begin to drive as I start crossing and I have to jump back with embarrassment?” “I’m almost to a cross walk and there’s a car coming. Maybe I should stop and look at my phone and act like I’m too busy to cross the street until that car is gone.” … “No, I better just be strong and cross the street with that car. I’ll feel so much stronger when it’s over.” So yes, I often do cross the street especially when I don’t want to. It’s an incredible feeling, even crossing the street, to defy your fears.
We all spend so much time taking pictures. Whether that be for instagram or something of the sort. I recently got back from a trip in which I practiced this new type of bucket list I thought of. I call it, “The present bucket list.” What this means is to go into a situation that is either on your bucket list or just a situation you find yourself enjoying, and then take one picture of it, but just one. I mean, we all know that in good situations these days, most of us, including myself, want to take a picture of it. This isn’t a bad thing in any way at all. Pictures are memories but it gets us into trouble if we only see what’s in front of us from behind a camera. What I did this week on vacation, doing things on my bucket list and looking at the scenery is take a picture, and then be sure that I am mindful. Mindfulness should take up most of the time spent on this. Not taking pictures or videos. Make sure if you are in a situation where you are ready to check something off your bucket list, make sure you really look at it. Act as though, for a few moments, that the different view of a camera never existed. Act as though your hand physically cannot move to place a checkmark next to this experience until you have practiced mindfulness in this situation and really looked and felt everyhing.
I used to be ashamed of going to therapy like I believe a lot of people are, but now I am so extremely grateful for everything that I have learned. And this is not only because it helped me live a better life and everything therapy does for an individual…but because of going to therapy itself…I love myself for it. When most people think of going to therapy, they don’t think of going to therapy for the experience or think of going about and telling everyone how much they love themselves just for the act of going to therapy rather than the outcome itself. Many people just go to therapy for the outcome, which I obviously understand. But for me I finally found the beauty in the act of going to therapy rather than just the outcome. You can love what your soul became when you emerged from therapy but you can also love that fact that you went even if you aren’t completely cured from your ailments. You don’t have to look at your recovered self in your actions and wish, “I wish I was born this way,” or “I wish I could have gotten well on my own.” You can be okay with needing help and the things you learned along the way. Finding this kind of intelligence about mental health through my treatment and therapy journey has made things so much clearer in my head. I believe that therapy showed me my intelligence. Without being born with mental health struggles, I wouldn’t have wanted to learn about my brain. But I was forced to learn about it when my mental health deteriorated. I feel that I learned so much that I can speak intelligently about my own experiences, how I got well and can now see clearly what I believe is right and wrong. I know a lot about the brain and therapy skills now that I can speak of them with intelligence and say how much it worked because of how far gone I was in my eating disorder and managed to bounce back. Going to therapy I didn’t just learn to begin getting better, I learned like a student how to use my own opinions on the world and be able to express them and add my newfound therapy intelligence to my opinions. So be okay with yourself just for going to therapy every time you enter that room even if you still have negative thoughts every single day. Even if I was still trapped in my brain right now, I would be happy with what I have learned, even if I don’t have a desire to go to school to be a therapist.
Because it was national siblings day, I decided to talk about something I always hated about myself…being an only child. It was rare and everyone seemed so happy with their siblings (even though they fought, I thought that was better than being an only child). But now that I have gotten older, I have found ways to love it. One of them being one of the reasons why I hated it…it is rare. We are a rare breed. I look at people now who are only children in a different way I looked at them when I was younger. I used to think, “finally, someone to share my pain,” but now I think of it as beautifully unique. This thought in itself makes me okay with it all. This also means that the roommates I have had over the years have been like an adventure because I’ve never shared a room with anyone until then. There really should be a national only children day for the only children and a way to speak about the stereotypes. I don’t think this makes you lonely. I think it makes you okay with being alone. I love being alone with just me and my dog, and I believe being without siblings prepared me for this. So are you an only child? You are beautifully unique. Thank you to the other only children posts on the internet that helped me see this.
Physical-I definitely see a lot of worthiness in physical humor. It’s an art and a sport in one. I see this as an intense and energetic funniness that I love. When I see someone using physical comedy I know they can love themselves because of how endearing they are. It is impressive and makes people smile at the same time.
Impressions-If I were an impressionist I would love myself for being able to be like the people I admire. The people whose mannerisms I love, they could become a part of me when I impersonate them. When I was younger I thought impersonation was mean but when I changed my perspective and got inside the mind of an impressionist who loves themselves, I found the joy and admiration that drive these comedians. I am actually trying out some for the first time in my life because of thinking about impressions this way.
Witty One-liners that are a combination of intelligence and humor being done quickly in a situation. I see so much potential for self love in this intelligent type of funniness.
And then I don’t know what kind of comedy you would call Kristen Wiig and Kate McKinnon besides when they sometimes do impressions, but I love every bit of these two. Because of Kate McKinnon I have grown to be okay with the strange facial expressions I make because I found the worthiness of them on her.
Gifs from Giphy.com
Growing up I felt envy a lot. I was envious of girls if they were pretty, smart, funny etc because I wanted to be just like them. With an eating disorder there is a triggering aspect of one person doing a behavior and then the other person wanting to do the same thing. When one person says they have done something I feel horrible about myself for not doing it. It shows when I was in treatment and we would talk about our behaviors from the night before. If I did well, I felt bad for that if someone else used a behavior. The reason for this was because I felt they had more control than I did. Then I would go and do that behavior the next night. Once someone said something about something I ate in a treatment center and I have never been able to eat it since because I felt bad about myself. (This fear is a great motivation for being strong so I will get over this fear of this food and soon) Now that I am doing well I have something else to give to myself besides pain. My eating disorder was a form of self-harm I believed I deserved since I was young. Now I want to give myself physical and mental strength. When I see people who are strong, I look up to them, and then when all I want is some trivial, thing just to be accepted, I envy. Finding the beauty in a vision for yourself that also helps you life a happy life was my key for envy to disappear. Normally I would be jealous of the people who have what I strive for, but now I respect them for being this way. I respect my co-workers immensely for being all that they are. I don’t envy them, I admire them. I see them as beautiful but I don’t envy them, I look up to them. And the envy disintegrates as I make my way towards a recovered life forever. Recovery has given me the lovely feeling of seeing a dream of worthiness in myself reflected on someone else and being able to feel happiness instead of shame at my own self. Striving for strength seems to be the key. Striving for perfection left me envious and striving for strength left me inspired and happy. How much more free would we all feel with inspiration rather than evny? I would surely feel like I was dancing in the wind with birds fluttering around me writing yes into the sky. Moral: When you strive for something just so others look at you differently, this leads to insecurities and negative emotions. When you strive for something to help yourself, you can find the beauty in this new you and live a happy life.
ENTJ is the commander and ENTP is the debater. The people I look up to in ENTJ are Jim Carrey and Harrison Ford. As for ENTP I look up to Adam Savage, Tom Hanks and Captain Jack sparrow. With every personality type I see a type of intensity that I love. The intensity from ENTJ I see that would make me love myself if I were that type of person would be the fact that they posses a piece of myself that I wish to be. I wish to be the type of person who knows when they are right and won’t let anyone take it away. A serious manner woven into the things they do when they are in a job situation telling people what they need to be doing. That type of courage is a type of intensity that I desire. I would love myself with the debater personality because they seem respectable and fair. Now, I am having a little trouble understanding this one so I will do more research on this a little later but from what I understand, these people will look at situations from all sides. This makes them, like I said, seem very fair and thus respectable. These kinds of people are so strong in a way I wish to be myself. I wish to not care about what others think about my opinions. I wish to be strong and share my opinions without backing down and apologizing for my beliefs. Love yourself as an ENTJ for being strong and standing up for who you are and love yourself as an ENTP for being strong and standing up for what you believe in. Standing up for anything is intense as you speak your mind with fire in your eyes because the importance of your words shows in every inch of you as you fight.